“Hot” Wife vs “Hotwife”
What’s The Difference?
I often enjoyed the feeling when my husband expressed his gratitude for having a “hot wife”. But that completely changed when I came face-to-face with its true meaning today.
At that moment, I thought, “No way.”
What Does A Hotwife Truly Mean?
The term “hotwife”, at first glance, could mislead you, including me. It’s even flattering. Honestly, I had never been this clueless until I learned the truth.
What’s more surprising to me was watching my husband’s reaction. Come on. Though he has had quite many sex adventures with women, it was interesting to see him shocked and speechless as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. For someone who only slept with one man in my life, it was oddly fascinating and somehow funny.
If that caught him off-guard, it implied how having a hotwife isn’t as pleasurable as it appears. It’s not something any man would die for. But who in the world created this sex term often misunderstood?
Having a “hot” wife and a “hotwife” are two different things. The first type only depicts a man appreciating his woman’s physique and her sensuality. The other type meant consenting your woman to sleep with other men for her sexuality.
For a non-native English speaker, in his mind, he has a hot wife, which only encompasses the overall physical beauty of his wife. Nothing malicious. Nothing condescending. Yet, when we go back to the true meaning of having a “hotwife”, there’s another story.
So, here’s how it goes.
When your husband consents to your sexual activity outside your marriage for his pleasure, you’re definitely a hotwife and he, on the other hand, is a cuckold.
Otherwise, you’re just a hot wife. To put it simply, you just look hot in his eyes.
Do you see the difference?
Why Married Couples Tolerate This Practice?
As much as I tried to understand this rising culture between couples, I can’t. My husband, too. Both of us hate it when our partners, whom we trusted, will cheat on us. Both of us will immediately resolve to divorce when that happens.
Now, is it wrong to become a hotwife? Not necessarily. It depends on the circumstances and agreements between the couple themselves.
1. Passed down ancient practice
Many cultures in ancient times have already popularized “polyandry” and interestingly remained in modern times.
If you haven’t heard the term yet, it means a marriage system wherein women are allowed to have multiple partners to boost men’s ego and respect for the opposite sex.
Examples are the tribes in northern Namibia, where the practice of wife swapping among Ovahimba and Ovazemba tribes remains unchallenged from the 16th century until this day.
2. Fulfilling couple’s hidden sexual fantasies
Other couples, who have been together for a long time, may start considering fulfilling their spouse’s sexual desires. (Humphreys, 2007)
According to the results of a study among undergraduate students, who are in a serious relationship, the male respondents tend to be more accepting and consenting to sexual taboos than females.
In fact, David Ley, a clinical psychologist, published an article on Psychology Today explaining just that.
In his article, he pointed out a surprising fact about wife-sharing between married couples wherein men tend to encourage their wives to have sex with other men more than you expect.
Although women may have thought about it several times throughout their married lives, they often refused to participate. On the flip side, men surprisingly take the lead and convince their wives to fulfill such requests. (Ley, 2010)
In most cases, wives choose to keep these hidden for most of their lives in fear of hurting their husbands. For the sake of modesty, they would also deny the feeling of satisfaction after a whole night of fun. Little did they know the pleasure their husbands felt otherwise — a fulfilled voyeuristic fantasy.
3. A new thrill for long-time married couples
When couples become so familiar with each other sexually, especially in marriage, they tend to feel less aggravated by discussing their partner’s untapped sexual desires and fetishes. (Humphreys, 2007)
For these reasons, determining the right answer, whether it’s right or wrong, is pretty subjective. It relies on how two married people agree with the terms and conditions even before their marriage.
As sexual as human beings are, we create our own set of beliefs and values in this department. You may not consider this as a rightful thing and others would. You may uphold a monogamous relationship and others may not.
Among the possible reasons we could think of, what’s more likely the case is the rising number of men consenting to their wives’ promiscuity within marriage for the sake of sexual pleasure.
Which Of The Two Do You Want To Become?
Which of the two rings a bell to you? Do you consider yourself a hotwife (a married hooker) or a hot wife (a monogamous, yet, seductively attractive woman)?
To become or not to become a hotwife depends on how you see it and how you and your husband agree with the idea of extra-marital affairs.
As long as you both agree, and as long as it pleases you both, well, go ahead. Become a hotwife.
If none of these sound agreeable to you and your partner, no matter how much you desire to become one, you will never be one. However, if your husband supports your peculiar way of sexploring, it wouldn’t be a problem.
Though sexual consent becomes more open and welcoming to couples these days, though my husband is more experienced than me, he doesn’t accept the wife-swapping practice and is more unwilling to invite extra-marital affairs for the sake of gratifying our carnal needs.
Because at the end, it all boils down to how sexually satisfied we are in our marriage. For him, I’m still hot. And he never failed to express his admiration of my beauty, my body, and my brain. “I’m glad I have an intelligent, hot, and sexy wife,” he said many times.
In that case, I’m a “hot wife”, by his definition.
References:
Humphreys, T. (2007, December). Perceptions of sexual consent: The impact of relationship history and gender. The Journal of Research, 44(4), 307–315. doi: 10.1080/00224490701586706
Ley, D. J. (2010, July). Why would you do that? (Watch your wife with another man). Psychology Today. Retrieved November 07, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201007/why-would-you-do-watch-your-wife-another-man
